Tushita

Registering your marriage-- (Hindu marriage)

2012-02-06T12:51:00.000+05:30

Now this is a BIG job! For me, it was bigger than planning the wedding itself! Half information, rude govt officers on phone---sigh! I really had to go through a lot to get the right information, so thought of making it easier for those who are going to be in my position :)

Delhi Government has made it slightly easy for us---we can now apply online and block a date in the following week for submitting the documents. To apply online, visit-http://districts.delhigovt.nic.in/choosedistrict.asp

Incase you apply by hand, then the bride and groom has to personally go to submit the form, and when you go to submit the final documents.

Here are a few tips:

- Both, the Bride and Groom need to be present during the time of submitting the documents.

-You may choose the district of either the groom or bride's residence provided the marriage has not crossed the 6-month mark. Post 6 months of your marriage, you can ONLY apply from the Groom's district.

- All your documents SHOULD be attested by a Gazetted Officer

- Website is a bit confusing on information--- you just need to have 1 witness (relative, friend or anyone else) who should carry an attested photocopy of his/her voter i-card & PAN card along with the original.

- In case you are registering post your marriage, you get the certificate on the same day.

- Each district have appointed designated days each week for this process. Timings: 9.30am-1pm. Though nobody turns up at 9.30 but you should in case you want to beat the long line and want to get it done in half a day!

- Yes, you need to be patient as it takes painstakingly long!

- You need to pay Rs.100/- for the registration and Rs. 50/- for 2 original marriage registration certificate.

You need to carry the following documents (attested photocopy+original)

-Print of the online application (fill the form only when you have the provision of taking a print out of the form immediately as you CANNOT save a copy as PDF, etc and in case you open the link on the next day, the page expires. So ONLY fill the form if you can immediately take print outs!)

- Residence proof (Election I Card)

- Date of Birth Proofs of Groom and Bride (10th Class Certificate / Date of Birth certificate).
- Separate affidavit from Husband & Wife-- this you can get from many affidavit shops outside the District Commissioner office, they already have a draft and simply personalise it! But get this done before you begin the process of submitting the documents as you have to submit this as well. The affidavit needs to include the following information:

1. Date & Place of Marriage.

2. Date of birth.

3. Marital Status at the time of marriage.

4. Affirmation that parties are not related to each other within the prohibited degree of relationship as per Hindu Marriage Act.

5. Citizenship.

6. Present (for brides--you may include the husband's address here) and Permanent (according to the address in voter I card) address

7. You may change the surname here (I'm not too sure and you may check by calling the department)

- Three Passport Size Photograph of Husband & Wife-- all attested and signed by Gazetted Officer (half on the picture and half on the A4 size sheet). Stick 3 photos of groom on 1 A4 sheet and follow the same for the Bride.

- One wedding picture attested and signed by Gazetted Officer (half on the picture and half on the A4 size sheet).

- Marriage Invitation Card

-If marriage was solemnized in a religious place, a certificate from the priest is required who solemnized the marriage.

- For more info: http://delhigovt.nic.in/dept/pubserv/MarriageCert.asp

What happens when you enter the den??

- Stand in the que on the counter to get your number (they give you a slip and you have to go according to the number, similar to waiting for your order in Nirula's :))

- You submit all the documents with originals for verification

- The officer then asks the witness to furnish the copy of his/her documents along with the originals and makes them sign the certificate copy

- You wait for the officer to show you the text of the certificate for information verification. During this time, if the girl intends to change her surname, she can.

- You wait for your turn to visit the Addl. Commissioner who re-checks the documents and meets you personally with the witness. If he/she is satisfied, they sign the certificate.

-You follow up a bit with the clerk to get the file which has your your certificate.

-You go back to the front desk officer, sign the original certificates, pay the amount and hurrah! its done...you are officially married :)

Finding the contact details of the District Commissioner office was a challenge as you have to dig out the information from website! For East Delhi, where we got our marriage registered, you need to go to the Geeta Colony office.

So making your lives easier :)

- Central Delhi: http://www.delhi.gov.in/wps/wcm/connect/doit_dccentral/dccentral/Home/Contact+Us

- East Delhi- http://www.delhi.gov.in/wps/wcm/connect/doit_dceastupdated/DC+of+East+Delhi+Updated/Home/Contact+Us

- West Delhi- http://www.delhi.gov.in/wps/wcm/connect/doit_dcwest/DCWest/Home/Reach+Us

- South Delhi- http://www.delhi.gov.in/wps/wcm/connect/doit_dc_south/DC%28South%29/Home/Contact+us

- North-East Delhi- http://www.delhi.gov.in/wps/wcm/connect/doit_dcnortheast_new/Deputy+Commissioner%28North-East%29/Home/Contact+Us

- South-West- http://www.delhi.gov.in/wps/wcm/connect/doit_southwest/South+West+District/Home/Contact+Us

Enjoy! and remember its even more difficult to get a divorce--so stick to it and stay happy! :)

Not so free

2012-01-24T11:33:00.003+05:30

Reports on imposed ban on Rushdie’s visit to India, pre-screening of internet content and many other such issues has left me flustered. While we pride ourselves as being ‘understanding, and ‘liberal’—these recent incidents have sprouted doubts in my mind like many others.

Does a person not have the freedom to express his/her views openly and freely, without the fear of a fatwa, death threats or being maligned publicly? I agree that one needs to be mindful about hurting sentiments, but then—you can’t make everybody happy. Today, the obsession of religion has undermined the growth and promulgation of ‘rational’, and unbiased thinking. It has infringed the space of free and open discussion. A lot has to do with the state of politics in our country. It is indeed shameful that the national and the state parties did not oppose the Darul Uloom for its hideous demand of preventing Rushdie’s entry to his country. On one hand, we supported the tainted Bangladeshi writer Taslima Nasrin and extended our support by defending her work. While on the other, this incident leaves me confused and disillusioned. Can a mere ‘book’ be more of a threat than a gun or fundamentalist ideas instigating violence and genocides? These myriad censorships infuriate me as it questions my ability to think rationally and intervenes in forming opinions. Do such organisations think that people are brainless that they have to constantly nag us and impose their thoughts on us?

The basic right of ‘freedom of speech and expression’ has been jolted. People/ associations with power-- political, religious, or economic now have the authority to impede the functioning of democracy while we—the common people succumb to the environment and re-adjust our lives around it. I shudder to think how long and how much will we adjust to such detrimental ideas and vitiate the growth of a healthy society that respects individual views & sees religion as a means of personal enrichment rather than a moral truss.

Is it not time to discuss polemical issues upfront and sort things out in a mature manner without hinging onto personal biases? I kept searching for the young political leaders during this debate--- Rahul Gandhi, Sachin Pilot, and many others---who are seen as liberal, righteous and practical! May be the vote politics overshadows their personal views…this indeed is a sad state of affairs.

The year that was--2011

2012-01-02T14:11:00.001+05:30

National protests on corruption, inefficiency of the government to tackle the polemical issues to getting married and losing people…an eventful and a life changing year!

So where and how are we heading—as India, the country and Indians, the citizens? This year has witnessed the ‘movement’ of the middle-class, Anna protests, politicians being put behind bars…but all this clearly reflected one thing---the time for change is around. How long will India run on coalition, trapped in dynastic loyalism, bend backwards to accommodate unreasonable demands of its neighbours to show the world that we are a tolerant country! The concept of democracy has been abused to no end. I don’t understand why we are spending public money on keeping the politicians behind bars, when the simple solution can be to take back all the public money they have stolen and leave them to their fate!

The middle class came out to support Anna---most didn’t know a thing about Jan Lokpal bill, they simply came to protest against the rampant corruption and lack of stern action taken by the government to cease it. All these events made me wonder—are moving towards anarchy?

Internationally, it wasn’t a good year either---economic downturn coupled with political upheaval dominated the year! However, it showed one thing—we, the commoners have the power to bring down corrupt politicians when we actually want to.

Personally, it was an eventful year with some lows and the biggest high---getting married to Amlan. But beyond the usual events, it exposed a ‘new’ side of me that I surprised me till no end. It made me realize that during the most emotionally charged periods of your life, when one thinks they will succumb to the pressure—you get this immense strength from within you that helps you sail through the period. An overly sentimental girl like me----I surprised myself more than anyone by not breaking down! The will to see things till end and the zest to make it all happen overshadowed everything else. I will cherish this year for showing me this side of me---and I thank the universe for giving me this strength.

But the best news of this year was Amlan’s relocation to Delhi. It has been worth it---a dream come true! Hope 2012 will be even better!

My wedding card write-up

2011-12-07T10:53:00.000+05:30

My world is no different from any other girl who is loved by her family and cherished by her friends. Yet, we lead our unique lives. Born to the most liberal and understanding parents, grew up amidst a huge family, and shared my secrets with my few closest friends. The usual highs and unusual lows came and went, and what stayed were the memories, support and love.

As life starts to slowly unfurl itself, I meet Amlan. I know him from my school days, yet, never thought that destiny would bring us together after so many years! We walked side by side, got lost in each other’s worlds and stopped at a point only to move beyond. From sharing our thoughts, ideas, and dreams, we decided to take a step further, be more adventurous, and share our lives.

But joys are incomplete without sharing them. We need your blessings, love and hugs to start this new phase in our journey and eagerly wait for your presence…

2011-11-14T14:21:00.000+05:30

Heartfelt prayers, a song in mind, and dreams filled in the heart

I walk down the path alone, but not lonely

Music fills the void in the heart, dreams engulf the mind

Walking under the cast of clouds, lush green fields by my side

And I wonder, what more can make me happy?

A person stands on the other side of the road,

Love in his eyes, a smile so warm

We look into each other’s eyes, and walk side by side

We share our thoughts and dreams without words

My hand in his hand--- I feel protected

We walk, towards the unknown--- nervous, yet excited!

Collection of messages as my wedding draws near!

2011-11-03T12:26:00.001+05:30

Makes me feel special and I am truly blessed to have you all in my life… thank you for all the lovely, overwhelming and beautiful wishes!

Purnima Chakraborty aka Babul didi:
Darlin' mithli,
Cannot fathom you getting married… just the other day you were asking me for gum-spout wala… then you wanted to play with deep and he instead was chasing you..--pinching you too… us playing ludo n me and u losing to deep n kaku...u hated losing...gawd i love you so much… I remember taking you to meet my friends in the next bldg during the cadell rd appt days--- they said u were the cutest sis ever-- a baby doll…tumi amaar biye te bubbly lady hochele and today ur getting married!!My sincere prem-preethi-bahlobhasha always to u and amlan…

Urmi Mukerjee:
Hey Mithu,
All the very best to you. This card is so very special to us all. May god bring you both loads of happiness and joy. We are gearing up to have a blast … you be prepared for our arrival cuz we are sure as hell going to make your last few bachelorette days memorable ;)

Sudeshna Mukherjee aka Mammu didi: Congratulations!! So the celebrations have begun =) Thoughtful and heartfelt - will miss you baby!! Here's wishing you a wonderful life ahead…God bless!!

Sumi Chakraborty aka Mona Di: Wonderfully written cuz! Loved it! Wishing you all the happiness in the world.

Shriya Ramachandran:

The day is soon to come and you will always remember
The greatest in anyone's life
You'll start off the day just two people in love
And end it as Husband and Wife

It's a brand new beginning the start of a journey
With moments to cherish and treasure
And although there'll be times when you both disagree
These will surely be outweighed by pleasure

You'll have heard many words of advice in the past
When the secrets of marriage were spoken
But you know that the answers lie hidden inside
Where the bond of true love lies unbroken

So live happy forever as lovers and friends
It's the dawn of a new life for you
As you stand there together with love in your eyes
From the moment you whisper 'I do'

And with luck, all your hopes, and your dreams can be real
May success find it's way to your hearts
Tomorrow can bring you the greatest of joys
The beginign is soon to be your life...

Shumayl Amin:
Tushita and Amlan
Thank you so much for the invitation its absolutely beautiful, I’m so happy that you even considered sending me an invite even though you know I can’t be there, but I will definitely see you two may be next year, hope you guys have a wonderful and blessed life ahead and good luck for the big day. Much love

Ridhima Sud: CONGRATULATIONS!!!
One of the best cards I've ever seen, its is just like you- sweet and straight from the heart :D
May god bless you and Amlan with lots and lots and lots of happiness in days to come.
Warmest wishes ( ust falling short of being too hot!)- Love always…muah muah muah

Juneli Ghosh aka Buchi di: Congrats Sis...lovely write up...Wish u guys a life full of happiness and laughter...Loads of luv & Hug

Shivaa Rawat aka jwalamukhi: Babbyyy. lovee uu! I am so excited abt your wedding. My janeman...my dil ka tukadaa!!

Anirban Bhattacharya aka Banu: Piece of soul missing. Piece of heart missing. But a rather hot piece of ass confirms attendance!

Sony Gorthi aka Garu: Awesome card... Artsy, crisp and Brighto is a lucky chap I say :P
Would love to be a part of this entire experience (big fat Bengali marriage). Keeping my fingers crossed as my supervisor needs to sanction holidays... :( May you & brighto have a Happy and Prosperous Married life...
PS: You guys make the cutest couple I know :)

Megha Mathur:
Tushi!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The card is lovely and I love what you've written about meeting Amlan...
How I wish I was there at your wedding...but since that's not something that can be helped, I wish Amlan and you all the happiness, love and togetherness...May you both get the very best in life and take everything it has to offer with each other's good at heart...A big congratulations to both of you... I hope everything at your wedding goes smoothly...and I also hope that your dad is better now and recovering well... I shall miss you soooo much...will call closer to the day. I'm sooooo happy for you...Congrats again!
Take Care and have fun :)

Wedding in a month!

2011-10-18T15:05:00.002+05:30

A month left for the D-day to come! I feel jittery but I am trying my best to keep feelings at bay…emotions are looking for a space to express themselves but I have controlled them, suppressed them. Why are weddings such a big deal? I know it is the biggest day of your life. A life altering moment. But why can’t it be smoother, simpler,with less pressure!

As a woman, you start your new life—literally! Giving up your home, parents and family, who know you, can bear your tantrums and yet love you unconditionally. Now, you begin the process all over again…it’s not easy. If people really talk about experiencing something ‘different’--- they should certainly try this! What an adventure!! Atleast in my case, I know the guy, we have been dating for so long.

Still, it is not easy, neither for me, nor for him! I don’t know how to stay strong and composed since the memories of childhood, time spent with cousins keep floating by. Showering of their love and constantly throwing lovingly lines like, “Soon you will go away” or “Spend some time with us as you would be starting a new life” makes me nervous! After all I am here—in Delhi only! Yet, the distance will grow, they say…not a comforting thing to hear!

I am battling to stay calm and composed, restricting my tears to my throat and gulping it as water. I don’t want to get weak. It is a beautiful beginning and I want to be positive and happy! Let’s hope I win the battle by leaving my home smiling and not crying!

I need you guys to make it possible!!

Life without wands!

2011-09-14T11:18:00.002+05:30

Now for us lowly muggles this life indeed hard. The mornings begin with driving in the roads of Delhi---cars with drivers speaking on mobile phones and driving either too slow or zigzagging around like a circus act. Broomsticks, disapparation and floo networks would have been so much simpler, quicker, cheaper and yes, environment-friendly! Is any R&D guy listening?? Death would have been painless, instantaneous and would not have affected an entire population. ‘Avada Kedavra’ would have done the trick, of course making the user ‘unforgivable’. This would have helped in defeating terrorism as the Dementors would be too happy to suck their souls, hence no chances of applying for pleas.

However, we are the mundane muggles, juggling between work and home, running errands and huffing and puffing along the way trying to beat the person (be it a driver ahead of us, ‘more’ happening lives, etc) in the race. Suddenly, life seems to be the ‘same old cliché’. No more trepidation of ‘what next’ and ‘how do I find a job?’ Attending festivals and gigs, walking down to Priya complex in the rain to save money for buying Rs 20/- burgers, and stay over at friends’ homes seem like another life altogether! Five years down the line and I thought life would be a little cooler with the salary coming in…

Of course, those married have been hit by the last nail in the coffin---no more big changes in your life—the usual rut continues…

I seem to be losing interest in simple things --- walk in the park which has been replaced by monstrous machines at the gym (though I love working out! Seems like I am really ‘doing’ something!), playing with the apartment kids, licking an ice-lolly while watching the world go by…sigh! I sometimes wonder—what would make me ‘happy’? Why do I feel so unfulfilled despite having everything?

Someone, inspire me to ‘do’ something, throw me off the comfy couch and help me ‘move out’ and explore…where are you, my wizard? Dumbledore—I think I need you along with Arthur, James and Sirius and their families! A bit of wanding and brooming around might be fun and unique! Are you listening?

The thing called love

2011-07-19T10:28:00.001+05:30

Melancholy creeps in the veins and hisses inside of her. “Why can’t I get rid of it?” Oh! The agony burns my heart and dims my soul. Did I ask for too much? A little love with a sprinkle of attention is all I needed…why does my heart yearn for it so much? Why can’t I simply be happy with the way thing are?

And the young woman walks aimlessly, heavily stooped with the baggage of a torn self, searching for fulfillment. As she drags her feet to walk on the rough and scorching road, she meets an old man. Tattered clothes, baked skin with a toothless smile and a calm face. He asks her, “What’s wrong my child? Why do you look so lost and sad?”

The girl hesitates, and says, “I am losing the will to love. What haven’t I done to make my beloved happy? Yet, when its my turn to get affection, and fulfill my dreams, I seem to be alone. Is it too much that I ask for?” The man looked away and gently placed his palm on her back. “Are you not old enough to fulfill your dreams, satisfy your needs and make yourself happy?” The girl impatiently answered, “Why of course, but then what is the point of being in love if I do not have someone to take care of all this for me? Then why do I need to be with someone if I am to take care of it?”

The man got up on his feet, readying to start his journey, “Love is all about giving, and may be its time you think about how you much you can give and not what you can take. The day you understand this, love will shower all the attention and affection on you.”

Pre-wedding jabbers

2011-07-15T11:06:00.004+05:30

Music inspires and soul-stirring ones takes you to another planet...as I listen to the mesmerising songs of Nauka Dubi (movie), I wonder why are we always struggling to find answers of things that are beyond our comprehension and reach?--- we grapple to understand life, how does one optimally live it? what is love--- is it only about what you give to others and get back, or is it about going within? I don't know, and I don't want to know...

I have spent 27 years of my life, the way I wanted to, of course with my parents support and guidance. I have been brought up as an independent girl, never once I was made to feel that I am a 'girl'! Is that not THE greatest achievement of any parent/s?

These days, the time goes by so quickly that I don't find time to be with myself, live the moment! The madness of wedding preparations have consumed all my time plus the usual work life and gym hardly leaves me with any energy!

I am not feeling anything these days---I mean I am getting married! It is not a joke...new life, new people, suddenly you are thrown out of your comfort zone and asked to re-orient, re-design your life. That is definitely something! Yet, this whole feeling seems to be outside of me. A woman has to go through such a big change, yet, why is she alone going through all this? Her folks, correction-Dad, weeps and feels sad of losing his daughter...why do dads cry more than mums? May be because they don't want to alter their lives while mums are already used to that. Did my dad cry when mum left her place post their wedding? I think not! then why does this happen when it comes to their daughter?

Terms like nervous-bride, bridezilla--overwhelmes me! I mean, why tag the poor girl going through such an emotional, mental and physical change??? It is a beautiful moment, when it actually happens...but till then, its crazy! So many thoughts fighting for limited space in the brain and how can one accommodate all these?

At this moment, I just feel like singing, drown myself in music and numb my senses!

Long-ing-ness

2011-05-19T11:20:00.002+05:30

My head screams out, 'Oh!why can't you be here, with me! Why can't I meet you whenever I want? Why can't we watch movies together, hold hands, see the world go by?'...

...And I hear your voice--tired, exhausted, lonely but brimming with love & undying humour. I get your point-- you don't want to be away, but you 'have' to be! How do you live alone--without friends,family & all you are surrounded by, is work? How do you remain calm, patient & happy despite all this?

Is this the reason we survived 3 years of distance and yet, and our bond just grew stronger???Amen.

Life is??

2011-03-24T11:04:00.009+05:30

I often find myself in a fix when I try to figure it out. Is it working hard to achieve your dreams, or enjoying the small things in life, or fulfilling your desires, or sitting back and see the world go by...I know its a potpourri, but how does one balance it or do we at all try to do so?

At some places, like Bangkok and Dubai I found it to be an absolute pleasure to get sucked into consumeristic behaviour. Yet, places like McLeodganj, Andamans, Pondicherry, and Kanyakumari made me realise how futile all this is. Running all the time to fulfill your desires without stopping once to enjoy what we already have and soaking in the simple pleasures.

Sometimes, the whole office-home chakravyuh entangles us so much that we don't give enough time other things---family, friends, hobbies...

Is it because we don't differentiate between our 'needs' from our 'wants'? Or is it so that we are from our core 'unsatisfied' with what we have and always look for better things and thus, stop enjoying the life itself?

But then someone's need can be another's want...where does this vicious cycle stop? Within us or outside of us? May be we all need to ponder about it, after all don't we all want to end our lives on a happy and a satisfied note?

Dubai--sand,sea and skyscrapers

2011-03-22T09:42:00.003+05:30

A month ago, Ma, Baba and I visited jethumoni's home for the last more than 30yrs, Dubai. Of course, it was exciting to visit him--but my main attraction point was meeting my niece--adorable,charming and lovely!

Dubai can be described in one word-- 'ambitious'. The amount it has developed (I'm referring to the stereotypical notion of the term) is unfathomable. It is a disciplined country where policing and surveillance is remote-controlled. I saw Indians not spitting, not littering and behaving themselves and wondered why can't they be like this in their own country?

Tall buildings, state-of-the-art technology, enviable cars, clean and wide roads, huge malls that will take you a week to cover and shopping will blow your mind. The USP of the city lies in the buildings, each different from the other-- embracing varied cultural and architectural influences. Many would feel, wish India was like this--ummm...I differ from this, may be because I simply love the chaos!

However, the masterpiece of the city is the Burj-Khalifa--a man made masterpiece. The experience of going on top of the highest building in the world (around 160 floors) and reaching 124the floor in 40seconds is inexplicable. It is nothing short of a miracle as this building was made in just 10yrs!

Life in Dubai, I'm guessing like any other 'developed' nation is devoid of friendly neighbours, cultural activities, options to enhance social interactions and it is something I felt the most when I saw my niece playing all by herself at home and I felt sad for her! But may be I am wrong...I do not know.

So what attracts you then?--the shopping, hell yes! sad for your pockets but this is an ideal place to be addicted to 'stuff' and get sucked into the consumeristic frame of mind--ideal situation for capitalism to flourish. Yes, the carefully crafted city appeals you to no end but what really impressed me most was the dedication, discipline and ambition of the Monarch to make this city the best in the given capacities without looking at personal gains! Something that we need to learn!

Women and War

2011-01-10T10:16:00.011+05:30

Yesterday, I saw a puppet theatre on Ram (not Rama). It got me thinking on two points---the notion of valour and portrayal of women. Now, don't get into the 'sigh! here it goes again' mode...

So let me start with the first one--- valour. Now, we know a bit about the Mahabharat and Ramayan (I choose not to suffix the two with an 'a'-- since I do not like the colonised English when it comes to Indian proper nouns) and have witnessed that the display of valour and bravery has mainly been through two things---war and women! 'How?' you might ask. The Pandavs fought Kauravs and won, so ofcourse they are hereos and Draupati being disrobed in front of everyone was the symbol of Kauravs' pride, Bhishm's inaction and Pandav's inability to protect their woman from injustice. Similarly, in Ramayan, Ram's victory over Ravan was a sign of his valiance and his command to Sita to go through the 'Agni Pariksha' is still upheld as a mark of justice.

Now, here my problem begins, if winning a war is the mark of heroism, then where does Gandhian philosophy of non-violence fit in, considering our heritage and history is full of bloodshed? Also, in the modern times, the defeat of Germany or rather Hitler is seen as a victory of democracy, well for me, it was the only way to save capitalism. I'm not supporting Hitler here, but the fact, that USA should not be seen as a hero here.

Secondly, why does questioning woman's honour and self-respect always a label of chivalry or justice? Also, is it necessary that the one who wins the war is the hero while other, a villain? Was Ravan really wrong in abducting Sita, since Laxman cut his sister's nose? As far as we know, Ravan never misbehaved with her. So was he really a villain? Was he not more talented, knowledgeable and admirable than Ram?

I also despise how women are portrayed in such mythologies. If Sita had to prove her purity, then why not Ram? Was he also not away from her? As a friend pointed out to me last evening post the show (Amitesh, this is for you), Sita managed to bring up her sons on her own and decided to renounce worldly life as an act of defiance and protest. But we see this only as an act of sacrifice...

So what am I blabbering for so long...simply that non-violence is only mentioned when our 'heroes' saw it convenient and war cropped up only when they knew that they could win it. Also, characters like Draupati and Sita do not really portray subservient, docile and timid characteristics of a woman. Their acts said much more, but we see it as a weakness rather than their strength.

War does not portray the 'good' against the 'bad', it only reflects its need to show who is more powerful. I think its also about time for women to speak up rather than silently act, as perceptions might distort their actions...this world can only hear the ones who are the loudest! so hell be one!

Is Education=RoI?

2010-11-19T15:58:00.004+05:30

Why do I study? To get a better job, more money and hence, better lifestyle? I know 90% will say, "Hell yes, else why do we run after getting admissions in good education institutes, sit for crappy MBA entrances, et al?" Hence, the money you spend on your education should be able to give you a good pay cheque at the end of the month...

I kinda disagree. I mean yes, money is important to satisfy your whims, wants and desires but not the other way round. I earn enough or rather more than what I need, but then that's a personal choice! I studied History in Master's because I loved it, not because I wanted a high paying job out it...eventually I got a job, and then shifted to the other with a 'good' jump in the salary. But that's not the point here.

Is it not the whole purpose of education to 'enlighten' rather than a mere excercise of degree collection, to be framed and put up on the wall? Is it not about evolving your senses, perceptions, seeing things 'beyond', questioning things that exist and then making a personal choice whether you agree with the societal norms or not? Or am I being too esoteric here?

Just a random thought! may be you can tell me more!

Pictorial nostalgia

2010-09-21T14:27:00.007+05:30

The renovation in my house has psyched the daylights out of my mother who is facing the cacophony of tools since June. the house has never been this chaotic and it almost feels that we are living on the railway station. Things strewn all over the place is screaming for some attention.

But as a person, who is hopelessly 'hopeful'---one good thing came out of it--seeing and touching things that were callously hid in the cupboard under piles of other more important things. Old books-- of nursery rhymes, fairytale, clothes that I still haven't tried on, my childhood clothes and accessories of the 70s and 80s that belonged to my folks, etc.

And yes, lots and lots of photo albums! sigh! this e-age has ripped us from this privilege. I sifted through albums that still treasures my parents' wedlock, my childhood. Few still locked in my memory, others that withered away with time and I had new things to add to my hard drive (brain!). I got goosebumps seeing the 2-year old Mithu dressed as a Pigeon's child acting with her favourite sister-- Mimi di -- during Durga Pujo of 1986. I wondered about my vocal abilities when I saw pictures of my music performances. And revisited so many places across India that I have toured with my parents, family and cousins! Kolkata trip with Babai--our first independent trip, i.e. without folks' supervision has a photo of the 4 sisters (Mammu di, Piu Di, Buchi Di and me) of Chatterjee family!(the only one)

School pictures are funny--fancy dress competitions, batch photos, annual day pictures and school birthday celebrations! Gosh! I got this pang in my tummy to rush to the school music room, my second home! :)

'Time of my life' in Venky---backlawns to lover's lane, to theatre practices and annual fest! Seeing pictures of Shivaa, Ishita, Banu and Manak (Verbum girls' common bf! Communism practiced to the hilt) made me emotional. Trips outside Delhi with college friends during that time made me realise that we grew real fast.

So next time you think about the future and worry about your present--- take a look at the past-you through pictures and you will know how you came so far and that it will be fine in future too...

RIP too soon

2010-07-22T19:45:00.002+05:30

A smile so infectious,

A hug so warm,

Beauty beyond words,

A heart unbound,

Love that exudes,

An advice worth keeping and

A person worth missing...

You were so much, and yet, much more was left in you. Your enthusiasm and spirit is imprinted in everyone's minds. You touched many souls and wish we could touch you and be with you all over again...but this time the phoenix didn't rise from its ashes and its for ever and ever...

Miss you Bandana mashi...may you twinkle up there and spread your warmth...

What’s the difference between madness and insanity?

2010-06-10T14:15:00.004+05:30

Well, the good old dictionary states that while madness is "quality or condition of being insane", insanity is "relatively permanent disorder of the mind", both might seem the same, but it isn't! It is like the difference between anxiety and angst. So then why do we say that we are 'madly in love'?... is love a disorder/ a negative or a temporary emotion? How do you differentiate between a mad man and an insane person? If madness is sudden then how come there is a 'method' to it? Doesn't it unknowingly become a part of us, dying to lash out when it smells the slightest tinge of desperation, anger or sadness that struggles to survive within us?

Is obsession not a shade of insanity? Aren't extreme emotions a part of madness-- sporadic but intense? While watching the movie-- Shutter Island, I was numb. May be that was the Director's intent, to confuse you about how to feel about the film-- thriller, mystery, dark or plain philosophical. Initially, some of the scenes were so metaphorical that it was difficult to correlate them with the normal flow of the film. Towards the end as the plot starts to clears the confusion, the Director decides to leave it to his audience to interpret the whole narration. it left me a bit desperate, I wanted to know the truth from him. What especially left me wondering was the last dialogue of Di Caprio before being lobotomised, "Which do you think would be worse, to live as a monster or to die as a good man?"

Coming back to the subject, is madness or insanity bad, unnatural and out-of-ordinary? I feel its a part of you and your existence. The only difference is that while some acknowledge its presence, others simply deny or ignore their presence in the hope that it would die, not realising that a slightest uncontrolled moment can unleash these instincts and change your life forever.

Our mind so complex, unpredictable, sly and mysterious that if left alone, it can play the dirtiest of tricks on us and that's why you need to listen to your heart as well. Even Severus Snape told Harry Potter that it is easy for others to read your mind and affect you if you do not know how to control it and where to restrict it.

For me insanity arises out of lack of listening to your heart and the inability to master your mind, thus it is not negative. It is a source to remain sane by accepting its elements within you and to remain hopelessly optimistic or practically realistic.

Dear Pompiii

2010-05-24T14:38:00.002+05:30

I don't even remember our first time together, we were too young then. But our connection was made even before you came to this world. Kaku decided to name you Trisha, a name mum wanted to keep for me.

Our letters to each other that we religiously wrote to each other with flowery designs and patterns poured our thoughts and we shared everything with each other while you stayed in Jaipur and I here in Delhi.

I used to look forward to the vacations when I stayed over at your place and we used to choreograph on old hindi songs like, "Ai meri topi palat ke aa" from Funtoosh...so you remember our hat dance? and all night singing sessions? Moments so treasured and cherished.

As we grew up, you turned out to be more of the silent kind, I ranted and ranted while you heard patiently, and your full concentration made me feel so important. The only time people actually heard you was when you sang--melodiously. Voice so sweet and innocent, a smile so genuine that evapourated with your body...but I know you are re-creating your charm up there somewhere and mesmerising the gods with your soulful rendition. All I want from you is that take care of kaku, kaki and dada from up there because they miss you the most and meet me in my dreams sometime to tell me how it is going...

And yes, keep smiling...

Love you always...

Mithu didi

World’s a stage!

2010-03-30T11:43:00.002+05:30

So if world’s a stage and we are and all the men and women merely players, then what is ‘theatre’ to us? A way of seeing things in a new light or a mere source of entertainment or a medium to bring change?

Few knew that March 27 was World Theatre Day, a day to celebrate the life on stage, those who dedicated themselves to bring change, to entertain and to give a new dimension to your ordinary life and gave a few moments to live the extraordinary!!!

An actor behind a mask can express more than lengthy soliloquies, an emotion can be depicted through its different nuances, and you can understand an entire era through a woman’s character. A good play takes you to a journey of the unseen, arouse feelings never experienced and to a place that only you can discover if you have the soul in it…

So next time you think of catching a film, give theatre a chance as the excitement to see real people doing 'real' things and giving you the space of learning, unlearning, experiencing is beyond verbum (Latin- word).

Home Sweet Home

2010-03-15T11:15:00.002+05:30

From the moment we climbed down the train, my mother and aunt were looking around like kids in paradise…aah! Lucknow and their eyes gleamed like child’s in a toy store, savouring every second of the surrounding. Trying to reconnect with what they knew of the city, much of it has changed, but some withstood the test of time, or may I say—modernisation.

As we took an auto to go to our NBRI guest house, my mother was directing the autowallah, and much to my surprise she remembered the roads so impeccably…I mean 30 years in Delhi and she doesn’t remember roads, and having left Lucknow in 1979, she still knew her roads well. Kutti jumped at the sight of her school like we do when we see a movie star!

We went to AN Jon, where the six sisters went for their haircuts and to our dismay the tikki wallah shop closed down! From Rs 12/ for a dozen of colourful bangles, to chikkan work and eating delectable food…that was Lucknow for all the three of us! The eyesore (Elephants of Mayawati) all over the city could not mar the beauty of the city that lay in its people, sweet language, tasty food and breathtaking architecture.

The most memorable thing for me was to see my mum and Kutti relive their times, their childhood and youth…so precious yet so distant

Kopkhun

2010-01-28T15:18:00.001+05:30

The trip to Bangkok, though short, was a memorable one is many ways. For one, it was my first trip alone, as in totally alone...roaming around on my own, meeting new people, at times it was a bit unnerving because you don’t know who to trust.

Then I was invited to a dinner at Atul’s house and the moment I entered, I was ready to tell Amlan, “This is how I am going to decorate my house.” And I met some fabulous people. A beautiful Iranian lady of a Pakistan origin who speaks so eloquently about liberalization, women’s emancipation, Another Pakistani married to English and now dating French at the moment who belongs to a distinguished family and a maverick by heart.

On the other hand, an old, smiling, English-speaking Tuk Tuk driver who warned about things and situations and gave me tips on where to shop, which places to avoid, how to avoid men…and a cab driver called me Aung San Suu Kyi because I was traveling alone without a man!

Then I saw the pretty ladies of Thailand who made me feel considerably old and I was kind of suffering from inferiority complex…as I was fitting into L size tees there! Gosh! But I loved the shopping—cheap bags, shoes, decorative items, silk…and what more you can bargain in the malls! Try MBK, that’s the best.

And what I missed was the greenery, my eyes sore of seeing seas of buildings and concrete and trees struggling to survive among the sky scrapers.

Sp all I want to say is, Kopkhun or Thank you…for giving me a space I needed, for letting me be as I would have liked to, for not irritating or bothering me :)

Voices

2009-12-15T15:40:00.000+05:30

Riffy raffy roads seemed pretty straight when I started walking
Just like life, when things seem to fall in place, boom! they scatter everywhere…

How do I pick up each piece and fit it in the puzzle to make it look alright? Why do I have to do it alone?

And a voice struggles to reach my head and shout out, "How selfish! You ain't alone, you have a heart, mind and soul to bail you out, all you need to do is...LISTEN to what they have to say."

Speak oh you…my heart, mind and soul…show me the way to the road of hope.

I want to bask in the light, and run from the wretched darkness—engulfing and never-ending.

Be with me forever, and I promise to hear you out each time…in happiness and sorrow…

Blue--sss

2009-11-23T18:50:00.002+05:30

I stand in a corner of the vast sea beach, where the ripples of the sea kiss my feet. I look at the vast sea, far away it seemed that the sky touched the sea...our life is ephemeral compared to the unending expanse of the water body that lay in front of my little eyes. In between the moments forgotten and the cherished--- lies me-the present.

While my eyes try to observe and click every nuance of the place, I wondered how little I know about the nature--- so giving yet so humble. In its simplicity lies its strength and its beauty-- austere and subtle. A sense composure overpowers my hyperactive brain, as I see different hues of blue, green and white-- is this what we all keep looking for our whole life, only to find it within ourselves?

The Mother

2009-11-23T18:40:00.003+05:30

And sometimes silence seems to make more sense than words. A vibrant smile flaunting wrinkles worn by an old lady dressed in white saree looks more beautiful than a newly wed bride. She brings a sense of calm through her mere black and white photograph...

That's how I felt when I stood in front of Meera aka The Mother's picture at the Aurobindo Ashram. It introduced a different side of myself..I liked being quiet!!! now those who know me, they might just fall off their chairs while reading this! Tushita and quiet!

Old and young strolled around-- without any reason and where they feet took them...these steps were undecided, much like the rays of the sun...others meditated in front of the samadhi. All quiet, but this silence between us communicated...I could feel vibes and a mere stare in the other's eyes said so many things...

Words fail me now...I wish I could spend more time here-- to soak in, observe, here my breath, read my mind...

Jamboree called austerity

2009-09-15T12:05:00.000+05:30

We played ‘Follow the leader’ game in our childhood, its about following the actions of your leader…I guess some ‘elite’, ‘high maintenance’ politicians love it too, so at the age of 40-50 they are still at it… “Soniaji was travelling in Economy Class so how could I travel in Business” proudly said one leader…shame on you! You really need someone to tell you these things?

Simplicity is the new facade for these guys to seek public sympathy! Only after regular media reports on SM Krishna and Tharoor’s stay in 5-star Hotels for 3 months, running a bill of around 1.5crore each, did Congress wake up. But here is the question, I don’t give a damn about all this, because its 0.1% of their total expenditure. Who will account for their free food, electricity, telephone, petrol bills, free cars and plush bungalows, travel abroad and exotic hotels, traffic standing still when they pass by? What about their increasing incomes while their salaries remain constant? And their kids getting the best of everything…I think cost of each MP must be around 50-60crores anyway…so a difference of mere 8000-9000 in air tickets hardly make a difference to me. (As per TV report- Sonia Gandhi’s Economy flight was for Rs. 55,000 while the business class would have been for- Rs. 62,000!!). The chief only remembered to set an example after getting hit by the wrath of media. And why not it must have never occurred to them before, “My lifestyle is actually ostentatious? Ooooo I never realised.”

I have a problem with 3 cars --- swanky SUVs fleeting in and around Rahul Gandhi, a mere MP of the INC. I have a problem when he yelled during his visit to Ghaziabad and got impatient with the traffic jam. Welcome to reality, may I say. But sigh! How would you know of the ground reality, after all you have been treated like a special fella – a royal scion of the Gandhi family?

I hate to say that the tax I, we all pay goes into all the wrong things, if money is judiciously used, half the problems might get solved. The politicians are our employees—remember the Jagore ad?? So why are they treated like VIPs?

Its all song and dance that will soon get over…give it a week, I say. :)

It's a Child...after all!

2009-09-09T16:22:00.003+05:30

I am your child, the eldest of the three

When you saw me the day I was born, you moved away in despair, in sorrow.

You shouted at my mother, "A girl!", she kept me close to her and simply wept.

"Daddy, its raining, can I go out and feel the drops on me?"

"No! no! " you said...

My mother conceived again, another girl...this time you heard the news over the phone and banged it on granny.

"Daddy can I go out and play?"

"Hell no! how many times I have to tell you to mind your own business!", you said.

"This time we get it checked if its a boy", mother looked down and nodded subserviently.

Meena asked you if we both could go to school and study, you grunted wryly and said "What's the bloody use? All you are going to do is wash dishes and give birth to babies! Yes, and I have to give dowries for you scroundels!"

The third child came about when I turned 13..."Its a boy! oh thank god its a boy!" A big party, sumptuous dinner and loads of gift, for us girls to see and sigh.

You never remembered our birthdays, our age...you ignored our wishes and dreams. You only focused on your son...a chocolate for him while my sister and I shared one.

Someday I will prove that you were wrong...that I could be like a son, earn enough money to pay my own dowry. Work in an office, to make you feel proud...till then I will struggle and wait for that day to come.

Music all the way...

2009-08-18T14:48:00.000+05:30

A tribute to all the musicians who bring out the inexplicable :) My favourite songs that also best describes me and my experiences:

Baawra Mann- This song is ME! It describes me--- romantic, sensitive, emotional and crazy!
Gum Sum Ho kyun- That’s the 4 am Amlan singing to me. He in his romantic best!
Coming Back to life- Is the phoenix song. It helped me come out of my past and start afresh
Khamaj- It reminds me of the time when I gave everything yet the wish remained unfulfilled. But today when I look back, I am happy that life took that turn.
Alive- I am alive and kicking today because of my inherent tendency of not giving up and succumbing to depression.
Nothing Else Matters- I can hear Mihir singing this in my head every time I hear the original and picture him singing in Barista with a guitar.
Aaj Jaane Ki Zid Na Karo- I can sing this song everyday of my life
Abhi Na Jao Chodhkar- The most romantic song for a hopeless romantic like me
Kaise Koi Jiye- Geeta Dutt’s this song is the best till now of whatever I music I have heard till now because of its simplicity, its soulfulness and purity.
I want to break free- One song that really inspires me to break free from…Ridhima you know what!
Ai Hairathe- Last and not the least--- this made me believe in the thing called love and that it exists. It symbolises moments of togetherness.

Move on!

2009-08-06T14:06:00.003+05:30

That’s easier said than done, I agree. But have we tried hard enough?? Ooohh that’s a question we won’t like to touch upon. How can I move on from something that was so close to me? So dear and so precious?

I was listening to ‘Walk on’ by U2 and was chatting with someone who was once close, very close to me. We chatted after a long time, I was a little excited, little relieved, little curious, little concerned. But I was happy for the fact that I have gone beyond. I have forgiven and forgotten. I hold no grudge, no emotions. The past has gone and my present is great, my future uncertain – but exciting. But I don’t regret anything. I have learnt—to be practical, to hold my self- respect, to make my voice heard, to be a little assertive and to understand what is right for me.

I remember times when I have yearned to go back to college days, the most memorable 3 years of my life—friends, extra curricular activities, canteen, fests and dating. Today, I suddenly realised that I don’t want to go back. Because I have changed over the years - I have become more reserved, less impulsive. But that’s with age and time I guess. People have taught me a lot. Initially I used to feel bad when I didn’t get attention—problem of being the only child. But today I am comfortable in my own company, may be because I have become more confident of myself. I have also realised that you can’t make everyone happy and if you have to make so much effort making someone happy because you think he/she is close to you – then you are wrong. People who really love you and respect you will do for the way you are. I want to bow down to them -

Ma and Baba- For being liberal and having trust in me. For letting me make my own mistakes and learn from despite knowing that I will end up getting hurt. That’s a trait of being extraordinary parents.
Mihir- For standing up for me each time, every time.
Deepti- For always hearing me out patiently and consoling me when there was a need. For just being so similar to me yet so different.
Shivaa - For putting things into perspective, for hugging me when I needed it the most. For just being there.
Amlan- For pulling me out from the abyss and being my agony aunt, my shield and for understanding me and loving me for who I am.
Babai- Though you are younger than me, you are my anchor…your silent support and our moments of silence have been more precious than anything…
Kutti- For being a friend more than an aunt.

I want to thank all those, who have hurt me at point or the other --- its because of you I have become stronger, less gullible and more practical. I know you never meant to hurt me deliberately or even if you did, you didn’t mean to teach me anything. But as Gandhi said, “My critiques are my best friends”, so are you.

I have moved on, hope you too have done the same.

Budget made me fidgety

2009-07-07T15:56:00.002+05:30

Yesterday, it was my first experience listening to the budget. And boy! Was it disappointing! As a citizen I literally gasped when Pranab Babu said, “This is the first time in history that the budget has exceeded 10 lac crores.” I mean how much time does it take to create a budget of that scale without having to explain how it will be generated. Give me the power to blabber and I can take it to 20 lac crores in a matter of a day! I was even more horrified when he announced increase in the proportion of different programmes without addressing from where the money would come from.

I think I heard something about climate change and environment in the speech, but sadly it lasted some 10 seconds and the missions were only mentioned, as if we didn’t know!! NAPCC was launched in 2008, and till now nothing has been done on it…too much talking Pranab babu, when are we implementing the strategies?? Or are they sitting pretty like many others?

So the Minister proudly proposed budget increase of several projects like NREGA, Rajiv Gandhi Grameen Viduytikaran Yojna, Pradhan Mantri Gram Sadak Yojna et al. However, I doubt if there was an evaluation of these schemes to really see how they are working in the grassroot, if the money allocated have been spent justly. How can one justify whether pumping of these investments is practical and sustainable?

The proposal to move towards nutrient- based subsidy on fertilizers is appreciable. Its time agriculture gets the focus and farmers earn some benefits of their hard work.

Overall, it was a lukewarm effort with no concrete thinking on how the money would come or on what basis the budget has been allocated. I feel I can smile half- heartedly now that the fringe benefit tax is removed and I only get 10,000 more. But the government seriously needs to think about the environment as a key issue for our development and sustainability.

Cities for development

2009-06-27T13:38:00.000+05:30

The world is talking about urban sustainability. It is discussing ways to safeguard our cities from collapsing either due to lack of basic resources, internal and external threats. Myriad studies have taken place to make our cities sustainable by making our daily needs efficient- be it water and power usage, transports and buildings.

But which section of society wants this sustainability? Of course, as a have I need it so that I do not have to compromise on my lifestyle. What about those living in the slums? Surely, they want to reach where we are, hence sustainability is not what they are looking for. Isn’t this term elitist in nature?

During the GTZ workshop, this potent question of Urban sustainability vs Urban Survivability was raised by an expert. It got me thinking. To sustain cities, we need to be inclusive and welcome those migrating and keep into account the possible increase of basic needs- housing, water, et al.

But is migration always a choice? I kind of differ from the view. A few months back Hindustan Times did many stories around migration. Stories reflected that it happens because of lack of availability of adequate employment and resources in rural, peri- urban areas. Should we not look at developing those rather than forcing people to come into big cities and live like paupers – their quality of lives further deteriorating? NREGA is a positive step towards it. I also disagree that development comes only with big cities, isn’t it too euro- centric a concept? Our structure is very different from that of the Europe. We need to encourage farmers and others supporting the agriculture and thrive on it.

We should promote the SME sector that generates large- scale employment to people that helps in decentralisation of employment and population. We need to integrate energy efficiency through the use of green technologies, creating awareness on ways to conserve natural resources, provide access to basic needs like education, healthcare, employment, etc into the framework of development that is decentralised and dynamic.

Peeking into the Bonn conference

2009-06-18T13:45:00.000+05:30

A few of my friends recently went to Bonn to witness the negotiations that will be culminated in COP 15- Copenhagen. Ridhima went as a part of WWF delegation while Leela represented the youth. Almost all the major INGOs, Research Organisations, etc participated in this conference. Around 3000 people were representing their nations. Did I hear 3000???!!! Getting 3000 people from nook and cranny of the world involves huge cost, of course adds to the carbon emissions and other factors. A magnum opus, if I can say!

So much to combat climate change…

Let me not sound hopeless and cynical. This time round, Bonn did manage to have set the stage for going towards the right direction. It began with the 53- page document included the thoughts and views of all the nations. Long- term cooperative action (AWG- LCA) was put on the table and parties expressed their views etc on it. The LCA text compiled by the Chair for negotiations went to first and second rounds of readings by the parties and the modifications/additions which inflated this report to 200 pages. AWG- KP (deals primarily with obligations of developed countries in terms of emission reduction targets a financial and technological support to NA1) led to heated discussions but underlined that these countries need to act more and talk less. Yvo De Boer, UNFCCC Executive Secretary said, “The big achievement of the meeting is that it has made clear what governments want to see in a Copenhagen agreement, which shows their commitment to reaching an agreement. ” he added that Annex- I (industrialised nations) should set ambitious targets.

The main highlight was Japan’s mid-term emission reduction announcements at LCA. A 15 % reduction target by 2020 was announced by using the base year 2005. This is equivalent to -8% compared to 1990. The Japanese delegation felt that the target was ambitious. Japan is ready to provide technical assistance to countries who participate in 2012 framework. The innovative technology use and nuclear power combined with mid-term targets would eventually reduce the emissions by 25% in 2030 and 70% in 2050.

This announcement by their Prime Minister Taro Aso attracted criticism from all quarters, including Japan’s civil society groups which called it an industry- driven move. Countries like Japan and US have seen their emissions rise considerably since 1990. Japan’s Kyoto’s commitment is 6% reduction during the five years commitment period. If the target is –8%, it means Japan it adds up only 2% in the next 8 years!

The Indian Delegation led by Mr. Shyam Saran, in a press conference, provided clarifications and cleared India’s stance on various issues at the negotiations. He expressed that the expectations from the Copenhagen package will be comprehensive, balanced and based on principles of equity, where mitigation and adaptation is supported by finance and technology transfer to developing countries. He emphasised that a global challenge needs collaborative and not a competitive response. Developing countries only demand confining to the legal treaty that has been signed by all parties in 1992 (UNFCCC). His optimism about the negotiation process was reflected in his statement that India believes negotiations have not reached a deadlock, but are moving at a slow pace.

The whole debate of the developed nations should pay their historical debt, the developing – the most vulnerable to the effects of climate change and least responsible for historic emissions have been doing rounds for a long time. I have a simple point – while its necessary to be negotiating on this aspect, yet we need to see within. India is the ‘greenest’ nation (as a survey in a recent newspaper claimed) is because of the fact that the majority are poor. We as urbanites, the haves, are polluting as much as any person living in a developed nation and it’s the poor who are neutralising are extravaganzas. This business of carbon credits and carbon trading will be exploited by us rather than benefiting the majority. Isn’t it?

Ridhima gifted me a very interesting t- shirt that says ‘How old will you be in 2050?’ and I was looking at this site- www.adoptanegotiator.org/ that Leela is a part of to see the youth perspective. It is our future they are talking about and its us who are missing in the action. Experts in this field are arrogant and often feel that youth are not capable of bringing about solutions as we are not really serious and this is just a phase and soon the activism shall die. Well, hello! The youth groups around the world proved their enthusiasm, commitment and hope by being there and doing their own thing- rapping in plenary hall, distributing a note to their respective govts on what they feel etc etc. We need to realise that singing and dancing around doesn’t in any way mean that we are un- serious!

That waiting game has begun and lets hope something come out of COP 15, I mean it better after these guys have contributed so much in terms of carbon emissions!!

With inputs from: Ridhima and google news (zindabad!!)

The 'G' old Age Home

2009-06-06T19:27:00.004+05:30

It was my first visit to any old age home and trust me me, if you are as sentimental as I am, prepare yourself psychologically!!

The one I visited was run by MEANS (NGO) in Hyderabad and was more a healthcare centre for the aged abandoned or kept by their children living abroad. Nonetheless, the loneliness mixed with desperation and insecurity screamed out loud. I felt like an intruder and a tourist of another kind. I mean what can I do by being there for an hour?

But I met a 70 year old Radha amma, who in her fluent English, he big smile and wisdom stole my heart. Parents nurture us, make compromises to give us the best and give up their dreams to fulfill our's.

Have we lost the patience, sensitivity towards them once we grow up and earn big bucks? What are we teaching our next generation?

Time to reconsider...if we can't live with them, we can at least give them our time and love!

This Is World-

2009-06-06T19:12:00.004+05:30

It takes 10 hours 45 minutes to reach London from Kabul in a flight. Around 3-4 months if you intend to skip visas and go there not for leisure, but for survival. But for 16- year old Jamal, it took a bit more than that. He reached London, his dream workplace, were paupers become rich, by paying a price. He paid in cash, he paid by losing his innocence, his elder brother on the way, his student life...now that's a lot for a kid, ain't it?

This documentary was shown in GTZ Summer School... a melancholic insight to human trafficking.
Cramped in a little tin box that' stuffed in a big truck, crossing the borders on a wooden patta (plank) under the truck, walking across snow- peaked mountains of Turkey in the dead of night are only a few journeys he made with his brother to reach London.

But why London? Why does a 16 year old need to travel 3554 miles to earn? The answer lies in the country he was born in...turbulence, atavism and lack of opportunities. The film made me uncomfortable. It made me realise the situation within...in India.

Large population coming from Bangladesh enter India in the hope of a better living. Many rural people become urban poor in search of a better life, only that their dreams our thwarted the moment they recognise the truth of the city.

Is it just a regular movement of people or something more serious? I guess its time we think about it a little bit more.

New faces@ GTZ Summer School!

2009-06-03T19:58:00.003+05:30

That's one of my most favourite things! To meet new people, observe them and marvel at the diversity and complexity of people makes me soooo excited!!!

From a mother of a 18- year old to a 19 year old...that was the group composition!

A 20 year- old who can't wait to tell her story, share her ideas. A guy who is honest enough to say, "I am the best." A young lady, forever hesitant, waiting to shatter the barriers that lie within her. An unassuming guy who is the first game developer in India, to a man who loves JNU... some found solace in each other that went amiss while growing up in broken families. A man loved by all women but guided by his own principles, another too shy to be close to them! Much more lies beyond these words!

A vibrant group in which some talk, others listen and few who want to be heard.

I have met people from different backgrounds...few leaped all boundaries--- rural set up, lack of facilities and yet made it to the top institution -- IIT. Looks are deceptive; a simple, married and fragile saree clad lady turned out to be a Ph.D ...whoa!

So much to learn and so much to give...that's what these 31 were all about :)

The White Tiger!

2009-04-14T12:52:00.001+05:30

Its been a while since I finished this book…and was thinking of writing about it. Don’t see this as a review please…I am simply penning down my thoughts and I open the house for discussion!
What I liked was the plot…the transition of a simple, innocent man from a village who wishes to spread his wings but is unable to do so as he is bound by the shackles of the society. His journey to the hip, hypocrite, sensational city of Delhi that changes his thoughts, behaviour and increases his appetite to be more than just a driver…a criminal thought eh? Its an autobiography of a man, any man from nowhere who aims to be at the top of his boss.

I loved the idea of this man writing to the Premier of China! What made him think that the head of China would read his letters to know more about India? That’s the creativity of Adiga!

The book has sexual and class undercurrents and brings forth the dichotomy of urban and rural lifestyle. I am sure a whole range of books covers these two elements…but this book binds these two together to give us a comprehensive journey of a village boy turned wealthy entrepreneur in Bangalore. It exposes the fantasies of a poor, deprived off man who wishes to live the life of his master.

The plot is extraordinary and the issues dealt with are real and appealing to urbanites like us who do not know of the problems faced by people in the villages…who live in an ultra modern world with all the luxuries and much more but are left unsatisfied.

May be its time to think beyond ‘our’ lifestyle and may be happiness lies in simplicity and simple pleasures that come by everyday!

Its election time again!!

2009-03-26T15:06:00.002+05:30

This year's election has become more interesting, and thanks to the tussle between IPL and GoI. At least on papers, elections are most important and compelled IPL to host it in South Africa!

What is different this time? I hear advertisements on Congress and BJP subtly downplaying each other. I see spats on national television channels between the two heavy weight champions on Varun Gandhi, Godhra and so many other such topics that do not really concern the majority and does not answer our questions on better employment opportunities, agricultural benefits to farmers, safety of women, increasing education levels, and actions against female foeticide and so on.

So who is driving the vicious politics and ultimately who has the power to decide which group will get the throne again…Congress or BJP? Neither of them, as the decision lies with small regional parties who are dictating terms, now that is a downside of democracy as big parties need their support to form the government and will have to bow down to their demands.

Where are we heading to? So many factions, so many parties in one state leave alone the Nation. Is it really all about who gets what ministry? Its good to have pluralism, but then how do we run a long lasting, action- oriented government if the major power has to constantly worry about keeping the delicate balance between the little parties intact?

Will Mayawati be the next Prime Minister? Who knows???

Amid all this sqabbling, blathering...I see some light...whether it be the Jaagore campaigns or area centric stories published in newspapers that clearly shows the ineffiency and inefficacy of the governments ruling that area and established people like Mallika Sarabhai contesting elections...can these little steps help turn the tide?

As India lives on HOPE, so do I :)

Let's make our VOTE count...and crib after we have done what we could do

What makes you smile?

2009-03-19T10:47:00.003+05:30

I was listening to the radio and the RJ asked this question…the question is very simple and the answer, a bit difficult, at least for me…because we usually never think about what makes us happy…time to change the line of thought. :)

So I thought of listing down the top 15 things that makes me happy:

Dad hugging me while I am asleep
Listening to music every morning
Going to the bookstore and reading a book before calling it a night
Emails/ sms from friends and family
Listening to Omi’s voice and getting his good morning sms :)
Planning a trip especially to Mumbai and Kolkata
Boarding a train
Ma's cooked food
Meeting my cousins
Late night chats with myself
Children playing—especially Maanvi hugging me , My niece, Aira calling me Mashi
Omi’s sense of humour, especially when I am down
Babai’s (my bro) hugs, playing with my hair and calling me half plate
Chatting with Kutti

Girly gossip and chats with Deepti and Shivaa

Maybe its about time we all make our own lists..smile again just reading at them and thank those who contribute to it :)

Kingpins of India…

2009-02-09T12:24:00.001+05:30

So who are ruling our country? Certainly not the political parties, looting and fudging seems more appropriate for them. Is it the corporate then? Naah, they are busy tackling the meltdown and saving their jobs…then who? Yes, yes, I know who, you all know who…our religious leaders!

The Mangalore incident cannot be seen as an isolated incident of religious voyeurism…it is an indicator of a crippling state power appeasing the so- called ‘upholders’ of our traditions,values and ethics! Young women were assaulted. Hooligans who have not even read Gita or Mahabharata followed the lines of Draupadi cheerharan in public that these very leaders see as an offence. But they kept mum when these thugs tore their t-shirts and all because they are not the ideal saree clad women. And then the leader said, “Jo hua achcha hua” and the state government refused to do anything for two days. Renuka Chaudhary called it as Talibanisation of India and yes, she is right.

I feel balancing our traditions, values, ethics with the fast moving world is increasingly becoming an issue. The leaders are the products of the transcending phase from a closed- traditional India to a globalised nation. Still, nothing justifies their act. The likes of Shiv Sena are sprouting up and it is a cause of concern. The conservatism in Islam is still acceptable as it is a religion and has its own norms though I don’t support its dualism and restriction imposed only on women. But we all know that Hinduism is more of a philosophy than a religion. If we are proud of our ancient culture symbolised in Khajuraho temple and Kamasutra then why do we have a problem accepting women drinking and pubbing? Why was pubbing never a problem till it was a man’s domain?

What’s the fuss about banning V-day? I mean we are free to choose what we wish to celebrate…and we need to celebrate love even more during this period of hatred and anger. I do not quite agree with the materialism that goes with it though.

Women have always been soft targets. Sanctity and purity of our culture and religion is the burden she always carries. Isn’t it about time we shift this focus? Culture and religion is all about individual perception and I feel that it is a private domain. Is it not time that we somehow let these kingpins know that religion will never get you power and appreciation? I can merely write and express my exasperation as a citizen who believes in democracy as a working mechanism rather than a mere puppet run by the power hungry politicians.

1857- Ek Safarnama

2009-02-08T20:47:00.003+05:30

A production that shows false history but brings the spotlight on to the faceless characters who fought in the Revolt of 1857. While watching it in NSD Rang Mahotsav, I was extremely uncomfortable to see the popular 'First War of Independence' theory promulgated by Savarkar on the stage!

Theatre is a powerful medium that can play a catalytic role in shaping the thoughts and views of the audiences...and I was sad to see the wrong image being portrayed on the stage..why don't people do their research properly...but then, is it really the director's fault??? I mean, since childhood we have been told to believe this theory of the first war.

A magnum opus -- with good actors and elaborate stage setting proved to be futile. One thing that I appreciated in the whole play was the Director's ability to bring those people in the front, who got lost in the pages of history...the common people took the centrestage here...so kudos to that..

I am not theatre critic or expert...but yes, when we show history, we need to be careful of how we portray the truth, the fact!

Theatre...

2009-01-15T14:22:00.001+05:30

NSD Rangmahotsav brings back lot of cherished memories of my time spent in NSD…after a long time my parents and I were on a Theatre Marathon!! Watching plays back to back after office and during weekends…plays by legendary directors like Arun Mukhopadhyaya, Soumitra Chatterjee, M.S.Sathyu and the next generation directors. Stories range from typical gossip like extra- maritals to understanding the political conflict of Israel through a schizophrenic and then the folk inspired scripts, a diverse range of subjects that kindle different sides of you as a human.

I was almost in tears while I was seeing Soumitra Chatterjee perform…ohhhh!!! How handsome he still is. I remembered the Feluda film in which he was the protagonist. His stage presence and the acting of the group undermined the clichéd storyline of a writer in love with his wife and her sister.

I am lucky to be in Delhi as this is one of the few cities that offer so much more to theatre lovers! If you have not watched any of it, then I feel sad but yeah, you should definitely catch it next year…its worth the effort!

My 1st para for HT first para contest :)

2009-01-13T15:55:00.002+05:30

Ok..so HT recently had this first para contest and they gave the first line: It wasn't a dark and stormy night but quite the opposite actually.
Now the following is my first para to the first line provided by them...may be a start to a novel or a short story..I dunno... :)

It wasn't a dark and stormy night but quite the opposite actually. It was a bright Sunday morning and little Meena was shooed away from the swing by other girls. Why other girls don't play with me? Why can't I have a nice frock, doll, pink shoes and neatly combed hair? …she wondered as she enviously looked at them. Hiding behind the Neem tree, bits of food she collected from the garbage lay on her dirty scarf. She saw girls play, throw tantrums and lick ice-creams…"Yummy, wish I could have one in this scorching heat!" stroking a puppy-- Jaggu, her only friend.

Jaggu ran to bring back a fallen ice-cream stick for her…"Oh! Only you love me, come let's share it." Merrily they play along when someone is coming near her…she has seen her, but where? She is tall, fat with bushy eyebrows with round red eyes and draped in a black cloak.

"Jaggu let's run, or...

And more blahs!

2008-12-30T19:19:00.002+05:30

Now when you know someone, what are the things do you remember? I am sure things that are sensational to you, something that you have never experienced or will never do it and you talk about those things to others. Do you give the right picture of that person? I think not.

Why don’t we sit back and think that what we think is ‘cool’ or ‘un-cool’ might have a totally different perspective? There might have been a reason behind the action, or may be just a thought again!

Am I getting convoluted? Well, its hard for me explain my relationship with my youngest aunt, aka Kutti to people…most of them feel that its impossible to share every damn detail with someone who is 26yrs elder to you. How can I explain my relationship with her that is usually seen as absurd, impossible?

That if I have doped once in my life becomes hot news and they easily forget my 14 yrs of singing or 8years of writing. I am sure these details are given just to add colour in my life or may be portray me as this ‘fickle-minded’, ‘reckless’ person. Fact is no one knows the truth behind me doping once (frankly, it was only a kash from that dopey cigarette!).

Now there is a lesson for me too…I too need to re-look at how I see people, dump the baggage of sensational items and understand the person as she/he is…I know its difficult and a matter of perspective. But these experiences have allowed me to introspect and I shall do the same!

BBites :)

2008-12-22T13:41:00.003+05:30

So what makes us special?? We are like any other group of young people who love to live in our dreams and well, work a bit to make some come true. We love to party and laugh and hug and drink and make merry. But…we are different and that is because we think Beyond Borders.

Now what the hell is that? Some might ask...it simply means that we are a bunch who are extremely sensitive and feel much more when we see something wrong around us. We want to go out and help in our own little ways to change the society, which certainly begins with coming out of I, Me and Myself syndrome and break my own stereotypes and change my thought to experience the hardships of others and just 'feel' for lesser privileged...
BB as we lovingly call has changed my perspective and has given me a reason to harness my thoughts that might be seen as eccentric and not get bogged down by what others think…because they don’t see the world from my eyes that needs more love, acceptability and sensitivity towards others…and we all know that we are hell right about it :)

We make movies on what touches us, we sing and dance simply to live our life to the fullest and silently thanking the immortal for giving us such a wonderful life and friends with whom we can share just about anything…discuss issues that we usually cannot with others…how relieving it feels once its out of our system and see equal reaction from others…

We met after a long time, but there was no sense of formality…yes, we have changed and for our own good but also this change has helped us to influence a few around us and take things in our own hands. The experience gave us new friends, and made us realise that every change matters- no matter how small and insignificant it may seem.

It was great freaking out and meeting most the people…hope the spirit will continue…so that even if we lose touch, we will certainly not forget the moments we spent… :)

Rock On!!

Thamma..miss uuuu

2008-12-08T13:51:00.003+05:30

Mithiyaaa, aamar kache aaye (Mithiya come to me) is the sound that resonates in my ears...going to Jaipur was fun as I met my Thamma (paternal grandmother) and she welcomed me with a toothless grin and a big hug...

Standing 5' feet tall, long hair, spectacles and wrinkled face, she exuded beauty. She looked like a royal queen and no less than Maharani Gayatri Devi. I waited for her to make for me paan post lunch that was a sacrosanct practice we followed.

Suddenly, when she started chatting in rampant marwari ,I wondered, is she a bong or a maru??

I will miss her terribly since I grew up with her in more ways than one...

Love you thamma...now that you have reunited with dadu after 10 long years...don't forget us. And yes, hope you enjoy your 87th Birthday in heaven with dadu and the angels but we are missing you down here...

Blasphemy!

2008-12-03T14:42:00.000+05:30

I am sure that everyone is thoroughly irritated and infuriated about the Mumbai Terrorist Attack...I don't know for how long are we going to accept all this and treat it as a part of life...lets proactively participate...whether its signing online petitions or joining a peaceful march..its high time the government should know that we cannot be taken for granted!

Preposterous how RR Patil had the guts to say that its just a normal event...wait till he loses his Z class security...aam aadmi is not taken care of, rather they bear the brunt of the laziness and the indiffirent attitude of the govt...but is appalling is that despite of having clues on this attack, Vilasrao chose to sleep in A/C room...why the hell doesn't he resign? Finally one good thing has happened out of all this, WE have come together and torn the masks of these falticious characters and yes another thing, Shivraj Patil resigned, I could not be happier!

But when will we get results? The Delhi, Gujarat blasts have been forgotten...hopefully the govt and their arms will finally Awake and Arise....

Radio Ga Ga!!

2008-11-07T09:55:00.001+05:30

Doesn’t radio rekindle the feeling of nostalgia? Do I sound like a 50 year old woman??

I was born in the era when radio still had its charm and television was getting there…and during my formative years in school, radio was lost in the shadow of TV watching…but its back with a big bang!!! :)

I love listening to Take off and MMH in AIR-102.6 and other shows that plays English music here, since you seldom get to hear them in other channels, who are too busy re- repeating (if I can use this newly created word) the same old Hindi songs from new movies…its different here…

Well, I recently started pitching in with requests mainly in PKJ’s shows to listen to my fave songs and it’s a great feeling when your name is called out…frankly I feel like a 7 year old again .

What is so wonderful about the radio is that it is enigmatic…voices taking over and you start imagining how the person would look like…faces are unknown and you recognise the RJs with their silky, husky, sexy voices…can you ever get that anywhere else? I love this secrecy about them, since they are not all over the place like TV soap stars and are known for their work rather than their spats and affairs!
RJs you rock!!! And I bet so many of us are dying to be one :)

Rock On!

Breaking barriers...Obama WINS!

2008-11-05T20:58:00.002+05:30

"I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; "and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together.

And this will be the day -- this will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with new meaning:

My country 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing.

Land where my fathers died, land of the Pilgrim's pride,

From every mountainside, let freedom ring!

And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true."

Finally, Martin Luther King's dream has turned into a REALITY!!

For generations, people lived in despair because of apartheid, prayed for a better life and died with the hope that the future generation will be better off...and finally today, HISTORY is made and Democracy is finally exuberant..that people have voted and got what they wished for and for what their ancestors fought for...

Obama's win is not only the victory of the blacks, but of all those in every part of the world who are suffering from the hierarchies of caste, religion, region and colour...it is time for all of us to turn our wishes and dreams into reality by VOTING for the person we feel deserves it! Its time to be optimistic and think about others...

With the hope that Obama will be successful in fulfilling the wishes of the millions in the USA and the aspirations and hopes of the billions like us...I wish him all the best!!! Hope he changes the course of the USA and plays a catalytic role in bringing peace and harmony in warring zones...

Rock On OBAMA!!!

Just a thought

2008-11-04T09:36:00.001+05:30

Great people are for what they do,
Greatest are those for how they feel...

Rock On!! :)

Time heals as time moves on…

2008-11-02T19:41:00.000+05:30

Mad confusion in my head

As I feel my soul leaving me like sand from my hand

I try to clutch it like a hungry animal

Hungry for love, hungry for life,

Hungry to be with myself

But time runs faster than me

The world seems to be a monster

Devouring us every minute

Draining our soul, making it lifeless

As a fallen tree rests on parched earth

Trying to get up, to regain its spirits

I try to fool the darkness of the night

But fear in my heart accompanies me

The night overhauls my destiny

I cry in anguish, in pain, in hope

And I feel defeated, efforts futile

Then I hear people say-

Time heals as time moves on

Speak-eth!!!

2008-10-29T14:50:00.000+05:30

Mr. Raj Thackrey spoke his mind…right or wrong, that is for you to decide…but he had the guts to speak his mind and face stiff opposition…even though it is a publicity stunt!

I like many do not agree to it…we are ONE country with our diversities…isn’t he trying to undermine the competency of the Maharashtrians by talking about reservations? Why do we need these on the basis of caste and region?

What I find amazing is that the so- called intelligentsia of the state did not one oppose his project of ‘Jai Maharashtra!’ does it insinuate something?

Mr. Deshmukh, were you sleeping in your cozy leather couch? Where were you, when innocents were beaten up? zzziinnnngggg???

Why are we going back to ‘regionalism’ and re -igniting the whole ‘I am better than you’ debate? What is Thackrey getting out of it? Should the Central Government then ban him from visiting to other parts of the country? In the future, will we have to acquire visas and work permits to enter other states? Ohhh…what a nightmare!!!

Come on politicians, speak up for the wrong…condemn him and any such anti- national feeling…forget vote banks, they will come running to you if you do things right!!!

Speak up like he did…or else go to hell!!!

Boom Boom!!!

2008-10-29T10:03:00.002+05:30

Boom...goes the bomb...my head goes numb with the sounds that pierces through my ear and took my mind to the battle zone...ohhh!! so much noise...

Burn burn...the money burns with the smoke of the patakhas and phuljharis...was I discussing about the financial meltdown yesterday??

Why do we waste, oh lord!!! Diwali is to illuminate the house to ward off all evils and to chant or pray...to eat loads of sweets and spend time with loved ones...but I could do none...

My head was reeling, I could hear infants cry and dogs go restless because of the booms and bangs...enjoyment as someone else's cost? to prove what?

I kept wheezing all night in the hope to catch some sleep at night..but hell no, I wasn't allowed to do so...

Lets celebrate festivals with our sensibilities intact...enjoy ourselves to the fullest without draining it out from other's lives!!! Can't we be considerate???

Hope you had fun... :)

Fasted!!!

2008-10-20T20:01:00.003+05:30

The celebration time is on...and we are enjoying to the hilt!!! and of course all of a sudden, we become satyawatis, kalawatis and pati pujarans...hail our embedded patriarchal thoughts. Modern Indian woman is definitely not truly 'modern' after all...thanks to Ekta Kapoor's idiosyncrasies that reflects in her 'traditional' serials, where on one hand the man has relationships with umpteen number of women and the wife is fasting- 'karva chauth' and praying for his long life even after bearing the misbehaviour of the pati devta, sasuma and others!!!!

The worst of all, all women sit in front of the idiot box and greatly enjoy these atavistic serials that does nothing but give new ideas to suppress women...how lovely!!!

Isn't it time for the guys to do something? Hello...we bear the pregnancy, bring them up and manage the family logistics...isn't it time for them to fast for us?? after all, they can't afford to let us go to the heavens earlier...god save their lives!!!

Have we really understood the meaning of 'modernism' and 'equality'? Now I know a lot of you are going to say, 'its faith, what's your problem?' I know its your life and you can do whatever you want...but don't show off na...its become a fashion to demand or discretely expect expensive gifts from your darling hubbies!!!then why mix 'materialism' and 'faith'???

I don't understand our system at times..isn't love, all pure that breaks boundaries of creed, caste and religion??? Pray from the heart for love, not for diamonds...

Meandering life…

2008-10-17T11:43:00.002+05:30

So what is happening to India and the world? Are we experiencing the sophisticated version of the 1930- 40 era?
Why are we branding a community for a few ‘black sheep’ and allowing the political parties to design our thoughts according to their convenience? We have stopped thinking, the only thing that bothers us today is how to earn more, live luxuriously and enjoy expensive vacations…
I saw ‘Wednesday’ yesterday…and yes, we are the stupid common man who has adjusted to every wrong and despicable activity taking place around us. We are ok with not going out and enjoying ourselves without fearing another bomb attack or talking to a stranger…we are ok with glancing suspiciously at a person wearing a safa, topi or dawning a beard…but why are we not ok with coming out of our comfort zone and asking the power hungry people to end the politics of terrorism? Utter ridiculous…then we blame the bajrang dals, secularists, communists and the SIMIs of the world…if they are doing what they think is right…why are we sitting like nincompoops and letting them do what they wish to.
Why are we ok with ethnic cleansing, conversion and re- conversions, caste killings, rapes and murders…why have they become a part of our daily lives and newspapers? Why have we allowed the ‘religionisation’ terrorism and ‘communalisation’ of its combat?
Are we heading towards a world war ? I see their mini- version happening already…hasn’t our lives become like that of the mosquito, living with the fear of being squashed by the bombs, religious-socio- cultural violence, road accidents…
Why am I living it and what’s the purpose of my life now? May be its time we take history seriously and bring it out from its coffin before we end up like the past!

Rock On!

Aashche bochor aabaar hobe!!! Pujo spirit lingers on

2008-10-15T09:26:00.003+05:30

I had a terrific time during pujo...office in the morning and celebration in the evening...so why do bengalis suddenly feel all cultural and nostalgic during this time??? obviously coz its the only thing we wait for in the year!!!! The resonance of dhak (drums) and dhunochi naach (dancing with the pot that carries smoking coconut sheel in it) are the kickstarters and the essence of durga pujo that we don't get to see in our daily lives...
Excited kids and elders showing off their new wardrobe, bengali cultural functions in the evenings, galavanting around the city at wee hours in the night to see other pujo pandals and eating sumptuous chops, cutlets and maansher jhol (mutton curry) are the star attraction..

The mood is carnivalesque...a good time for youngsters for bird watching...but all in good spirits!!!

I have been associated with Patel Nagar Pujo since my birth...acting in plays, to distributing bhogs, to singing in agomoni (songs to invoke Maa Durga)...done it all and the spirit lives on in me...I wish these days could last a bit longer as it takes you away from the usual maddening lifestyle and force you to let your hair down and enjoy to hilt as if there is no tomorrow!!!! My countdown for the next year has aready begun :)

Work during pujo!!!

2008-10-08T11:50:00.000+05:30

Now for me that's a sacrilege!!! But what can I do??? I have to come to office because I can't take a holiday after a long ailment period...

For a person like me...this time is all about venturing out, loafing around with family and friends and watching different pujo pandals and choose to watch from a plethora of cultural programmes.

But this time it was dampened by fear of terrorist attack...tight security checking led to long queues outside, thus hindering us from going inside!!!

This is the only festival for us bengalis when we get a chance to freak out, but sadly we were restrained this time!

Pujo always makes my heart flutter like a 2 yr old...its so exciting for me...and naturally so...

more on this later on!!!

Enjoy...the festival time has begun!!! Finally!!!

Stubbed!!!

2008-10-02T18:24:00.002+05:30

Yes!!! I am happyyyy... that finally someone has banned smoking in public areas!!!

Now I would not have liked that 6 years back...when I used to smoke...well, I read Shobha De's comment on this issue where she protested the ban saying its 'un- democratic'!!! well what about the rights of those who suffer from passive smoking?? I wonder...I might sound like a disillusioned communist, which maybe I am...its far better to be an active smoker than a passive one! Also, since I am working in TERI now, I feel it is one of the small steps to combat climate change...so why not make these small efforts to make a BIG impact :)

But that makes me think, why I started smoking and why did I quit!!

Well in college days you are bound to try new things, cigarette creates a facade of creativity...so naturally as a singer, actor and director, I should be smoking or else how will my creativity ooze out...what a high it was to just hold that Wills Classic :)

Suddenly, juniors respected you or so you felt...and I became this pseudo artist...and then of course it was to forget emotional pain, or so it was meant to be...

And then I quit...one fine morning...not that I was a chain smoker or could not live without it...that's a good thing my dad taught me, he said, "never get addicted to anything, coz nothing is more worth it than Life itself"...and I followed it...and still do...

Has my creativity suffered a setback?? or have I gone 'madder'?? well no and yes...and I have christened myself with the title of 'innocent madness' :)!!

I have to come to one conclusion...no artificial thing can give you high or bust your stress levels...we really need to 'love' our lives to be free from all this...freedom in altruism!!

And so I never had a craving ever again since the last 4 years...I am asthamatic and I realise what others go through when I am on the other side of the line...

So guys...no gyaan.. but try and quit...there are many more things to get addicted to..music for one!!!

Rock On!!!

Get Over It!!!

2008-09-29T11:11:00.001+05:30

Yeah...that's what i am trying to do since a week...lying on my bed to nurse my poor health...thanks to Aedes darling that gave me dengue!!! :)

Well, but this disease is apt for a person like me who loves to sleep...but no!! I don't want anymore of it!!!

It feels great to be back at work..dare I say, I am feeling a bit buzzeddd...my darling friend, mummy, sister...Shivaa kept a check on me like a hawk...monitoring my health n platelet count over phone and even mailed me today morning...need I say that I am blessed to have her in my life!!! love you angel...

So lets see how this 'hello testing' day goes...hope good..though I am craving to be back in bed and catch a nap...

Hammered!!!

2008-09-20T20:46:00.005+05:30

Damn this weather...damn this fever...my head is jammed and I am rambling and mambling away...to glory??...nay I say!!!

What's up world??? I feel like asking...how are we feeling today??? loony, glum, happy, mum??

Are we proud of ourselves?? Yeah they say!!!

Are we proud of our society...boo I hear...But aren't WE society??? NOOOOOOO they shout...

My head is jammed and my heart hammered...aren't we close to our doomsday??? aint we walking on the minefield we created for ourselves?? Blame the blooddyyy govt!!!

But I ask..who chose it??? you and me??? So big deal...it was a choice between a blind and a deaf...then I asked yet again...why didn't we join??? Oh such a dirty game it is...despicable idea...

Are WE doing something about it?? Arree...you crazy lady, shouts a girl, What can we do???

I stopped asking...wondering whether in this democracy, will we ever find our answers to the questions we ask daily...will our questions be heard and adhered to...by ourselves???

My head reels...and medication intoxicates my mind and body...I rest!

The Glass Palace

2008-09-16T09:18:00.000+05:30

Where the 'thin red line' between reality and fiction is blurred.History is given a 'face', and characters are unreally 'real'!!

I don't know whether that makes any sense at all. But as a student of history the entire book seemed like a real human experience in the times when Burma was in flux...from the prosperous rule of Thebaw to the vulnerberality of its existence because of the greed of the Raj...it beautifully weaves in the confusion of identity that people might have experienced at that time. This is definitely the first that peeps into the mindset of a royal family in exile, their inability to accept the truth and their pain of accepting a different culture and changing their age old habits...

I am in awe of Amitav Ghosh because of his ability to connect us with our past through a whirlwind of emotions that we still experience...

It makes me think of our present. In Burma, post the English invasion, people suffered and that stimulated an identity crisis especially for the 'outsiders' like Indians, who otherwise were seen as a family member in times of Royal rule...don't we still consider some as 'outsiders' in our very own Delhi?? I wonder how they feel.

This is no review...but yes, its a must read as it captures elements of the present and his mindboggling story telling subtly touches each emotion and human behaviour.

May be its time we re-think about the whole logic of 'nationalism'!

Rock On

2008-09-13T21:29:00.003+05:30

Ok.....I know that I saw the movie too late...don't abuse me for that...but lack of company compelled me to watch it so late :(

I went through a roller coaster ride with this movie...reminisced times in school and college when I used to sing...remembered members of our college band...and cried coz I am one of the lucky few who had a song dedicated (written and composed) by someone...and sooo the sentimental me, cried...mainly because I felt lucky...

Then I felt the transition from a singer to a mere listener and admirer of music and I hate myself for having left singing...I guess I took it for granted and escaped from the internal guilt by making excuses...well no more now!!! I will start singing...not to become a professional singer but to enjoy the little nothings in the journey...the endless rehearsals, debates, disagreements, jamming, drinking tea from other's singer's cup and so on....I miss my days in school specially...but time moves on!!!

And while I was thinking about all this, I carelessly passed through the Central Park today...only to find half an hour later that there has been a bomb blast...at that time I was in my car crossing Baba Kharak Singh Marg...phew!!!!! I still cant fathom that I escaped death...

This incident has given me all the more reason go back and do things I long to do....As Rob in rock On said, "I want to fulfill my dream of performing on the stage before I die." Those lines are still resonating in my ears...

I'm sure there might be many things you always wanted to do or get back to...Just do it...there is always time to make excuses and be lazy about it...but once this time goes it will never come back...so enjoy each day and re- start your old forgotten hobby, remove the pile of dust from it...Time is NOW!!!

Enough of gyaan...just shared my stream of thoughts that I experienced in the last few hours!!!

Rock ON!!!!! :)

Angel....

2008-09-12T18:59:00.002+05:30

I ask myself today

What is happening to me?

A month ago, I was torn apart

& now I am bound in love

Is life all about subtle surprises?

I was struggling with myself

Trying to pick up my shattered pieces

But time did not help me here.

I met an angel who guided me through

Angel I call him because…

He is the answer to my silent prayers

Reaffirmed my belief in love!!

Soul mate I call him because…

He reads my mind and heart!!!

Friend I call him because…

He shared my sorrows when I could not share it with myself

Lover I call him because…

He loves me more than the unbound, infinite universe

People come and people go

Life moves on…

But my angel will be with me,

Forever-beyond eternity!!!!!!!!

Music should be a way of life!!!

2008-09-12T09:45:00.000+05:30

Music decides my mood each morning…good music lifts my spirits and the bad ones make me sulk…what power music have!!! It has the ability to change your mood as the hues of the sky…sometimes grey,at other times- red or yellow!!! It is what you feel inside that is important…sadly people have forgotten to ‘feel’ and discover the nuances of one’s feeling…that’s why we have so much anger pent up inside us that is waiting for a reason to erupt like a volcano.

I feel music is needed all the more today… to calm ourselves and forget the hectic lives we lead these days…to relax and think about all the beautiful times we have experienced and cherish our lives rather than running after the things we want…